#26: South America....don't drink the water.

When going to a foreign mission, the last day or two of the MTC is spent mentally traumatizing the outgoing missionaries with stories of those who had gone before them that had fallen deathly ill or been grotesquely injured due to not following strict rules of hygiene, maintenance, and common sense. We were strictly told to not drink the water, and if we did, to either boil it or bleach it. Determined to be the ever-perfect missionary, I landed in Paraguay believing that I would not be one of those "stupid missionaries" who ignored the oh-so-wise council given in the MTC, and had ended up looking like one of the following (maybe the middle face is blind...?):

What I soon learned, was that oh-so-wise council was definitely not given by recently returned missionaries who actually had to live in 3rd or 2nd World conditions. I still bleached my water whenever I could, attempting to cover up the pool-like flavor with cheap juice powders or sacred Crystal Light packets sent from home, but I had to be super conscientious about it. Boiling water took forever...and tasted like liquified pasta, so that was out of the question.

However, one hot, sweaty day, my comp and I found ourselves without water, and far from any despensa that could sell us any. We decided to rely upon the mercies of a nearby member. We unintentionally woke her from a nap, and in her groggy state, she kindly gave us some water from her thermos, a typical Paraguayan necessity. However, in Paraguay, most people will just pour the beverage in one glass, and when the one companion has finished it, they pour in another serving for the second comp, who drinks from the same glass.

This time was no different. My comp got her turn first, and then I was poured my share. As I desperately gulped down the life-saving H2O, I looked to the bottom of the glass, something I habitually did to check for straying herbs or unwanted dirt. That's when I saw it. Something small. And black.

...it was swimming.

That's right, not floating...but swimming. There, in the bottom of my glass, was a tiny black fish. It seemed to desire to get out of its new glass home, but was unaware of how dangerous its plight really was. My eyes widened but I knew if I said anything, even in English, my companion could react in a way that would be suspicious or possibly offensive to the kind member who we had awoken. So I said nothing. I drank carefully--you bet I was thirsty enough to still drink the fish water--but I left just barely enough water at the bottom of the glass for the little creature to continue to make freestyle laps around as it pleased.

I handed the glass back to the member and thanked her.

...she poured more water into the glass.


...then gave it to my companion.


...who, unawares, quickly drank...the...whole...thing.


I stood by, saying nothing, silently pleading that she would look into the glass and see for herself that she was swallowing a miniscule living animal...but look she did not, and gulp away she did. I knew I should have probably warned her...but I didn't want to make any kind of scene, especially as there weren't very many members in the branch and we wanted to definitely stay on good terms with this one.

My companion completely emptied the glass.

Looking back, I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for...the fish, or my companion. Fortunately for both of us (she about killed me when I 'fessed up about what happened), my companera did not get sick. Phew.

The fish, I'm sure, was not so lucky.