Thursday, May 29, 2014

Things that bug me

I'm avoiding going to bed. Today Brent left for a summer school physics-y thingy for a week, and I hate going to bed alone. When Brent goes out of town, I end up checking on Caleb more often after he has gone to bed...I think it's to remind me that I'm not the only one home. It's sort of comforting. Anyway. I'm rambling. I thought I would write a post about things that bug me. Some you will laugh at and nod and go, yeah totally, and others are more somber.

Things that Bug Me (in no particular order)

1. Going to bed alone. I know I did it for almost 25 years straight. But now it really stinks. 
2. How all the middle-aged and old ladies use Facebook as a Pinterest page. Stoooop posting every recipe, quote, and article. You won't find it in 6 months on your news feed anyway without some serious effort. Please--you will thank yourself for signing up for Pinterest, which is way more organized for that kind of thing...and is EXACTLY for that kind of thing.
3. How political Facebook is getting. What the heck happened, Facebook? Also, if Google wants to try to advertise for their Google group thing, now is the time to do it. 
4. How mean everybody gets on the internet. Like holy cow people, stop lashing out at people you don't know. Which is ironic because it sounds like that's what I'm doing now.
5. When babies get sick.
6. When babies pass away. It's just not fair. I'm getting all teary thinking about it.
7. When babies aren't even born. 
8. When babies aren't allowed to be born because their mom thinks the baby's body is her body. It makes me sick. So very sick.
9. Creepy crawlies. Bugs bug me. I always fear that I will feel for a light switch and that a giant spider will be on it and I won't see it because it's dark. Or that one will be lurking in my shoe waiting for my innocent piggies.
10. How when I go to Caleb's room in the middle of the night my irrational night fears make me worried an intruder will be waiting for me when I open the door.
11. Mental illness. I have lots of questions for God about that one.
12. School shootings. When will the madness stop?
13. When people think they know everything. I'm sorry if I ever come across that way. I really am.
14. When people don't wear helmets when riding a motorcycle. You're not invincible people.
15. Stepping on a snail while barefoot or with just socks on.
16. Stepping in water while wearing socks. Happened today. Oh well.
17. Sexual crimes. I try not to think about it, because when I do, I feel sick and hurt and all sorts of icky feelings. I hope everyone who commits them gets their commupance. 
18. When the internet is slow.
19. My humongous chest. 
20. That feeling of trying so hard for nothing and not knowing what next step to take.
21. Bills.
22. When a sibling struggles and you want to help but feel helpless.
23. When parents struggle.
24. How old people get cranky and set in their ways. And how I will probably be one of them.
25. Realizing I'm the parent now and must suddenly know so much more than I actually know.
26. The fact that I am still stalling going to bed.
27. Knowing that my little baby will grow up and I'll never get those sweet baby moments with him again.
28. Always feeling like I'm one step behind everyone else. (But I always remind myself that I'm not. I'm right where I'm supposed to be.)
29. The fact that I have now lived in Utah longer than California. Not cool.
30. Obsessions with zombies and vampires. So weird.
31. Food fads. And how they are all over my Facebook and Pinterest feed. Go away.
32. How bad diapers can smell. So. So. Bad.
33. The need to shave my legs. 
34. That I don't have a bathtub. I miss it so.
35. Looking back on ages 13-22 and cringing at how awkward I was, and trying to forget it but always being reminded by someone (usually myself, but not always)
36. How people can't accept that it's often okay for people to be different and do things differently. Like parenting, or managing styles, etc.
37. How I worry about Caleb. All. The. Time. And knowing that will never stop. 

Okay I'm done for now. Time to stop stalling and go to bed. I hope you are all having a lovely day. I actually did have a lovely day. I saw a friend and her precious new baby. And I got to see my husband off and hang out with my own baby all day. And I ate Kraft Mac n Cheese for dinner, which is delicious, no matter what stupid food fads say. (Gimme the gluten!) But I didn't eat a brownie today, and that makes me sad. And I can't make them while Brent is gone, because then I will be sad that he isn't here to eat them with me. So I guess I'll make some when he gets back. Okay. G'night folks.