Friday, April 11, 2014

Grief

I am grieving.

Over the course of the last six months, several people I know and care for have suffered tragic losses, especially regarding infants. Probably because I am a new mom, these have been hitting very close to home. I know that it could have been our baby at any point along the journey. Last night I was thinking of all of those mothers who are mourning, and as I rocked Caleb to sleep I choked on the songs I  was singing to him. And when I went to bed, my husband held me and I wept. Sleep evaded me for hours. And so to help me deal with the emotions I was going through, I wrote a poem. I strongly believe in artistic expression to help cope, and the visual art I usually turn to didn't seem like the appropriate method. So here's my poem. The poem could relate to those who have had a miscarriage, lost a child, or struggled with infertility. Please don't judge too harshly as I don't normally consider myself a poet.


"I Trust"

The miniature clothes
   to never be folded again
The lullaby lost and silenced
   taken like a breath on the passing wind
       with the scattered leaves
Replaced with tears
    and a gnawing ache.
          A hole. 
                 Unfilled.
                       Unending.

Yet I trust
    that the God of mankind
        to also be the God of little ones
And I trust
     that His gentle arms cradle
          the child that I do not.

I trust
    that His arm that is stretched out still
        will one day stretch out
Place in my hand
    the small fingers I love and long for.

I trust
  that small cries no longer heard here
      and bitter cries now
will one day turn to cries of joy
    most celebrated amidst the angels.

I trust
  in an everlasting Atonement
     in a Savior
Who feels my ache
Who heals the wounds
Who raised the sleeping sons and daughters
     Who raises me
         and raises Himself
              on my cross.
    to right the wrong
      and lost time.

I trust
   in a hope I cannot see
      but feel.

I trust
  in Him.

No comments:

Post a Comment